It's not Kansas anymore, Toto. I can remember the whole story of the relationship. Completely. I also remember all of the disappointments I suffered. I could describe how I were let down, how I were put down. But what if I take the "I" out from the story, and if I remove all of my rancor, all of my resentment, all of my desire for love or revenge. If I take them out, if just for a uncomfortable moment, see what's left. It's just another human being struggling to find his own way to happiness. He taught me to be clear, to have a sense of pride. He taught me to enhance my capabilities, the far-reaching lenght of my own dreams. He taught me to fight for my own liberty, to dream with building a family. He showed me how worthless are many of the human material ambitions. He influenced me to be skeptical about given truths. To be honest. To state clearly my point, even if it means disagreement and conflict. He showed me I was meant for a type of personal greatness which is not often recognized, or self-evident, or applauded. A greatness coming from the joy of feeling really human. Finding the connection with the whole humanity. Liberating others from suffering and pain. And yes, painfully, he was also the mirror of my temporary lack of self-confidence.
Those lessons will be very important the rest of my life. I can't do anything but thanking this person for all that he helped me to learn. The gentle lessons were blessings; the hard ones will surely help me to avoid such pain for the rest of my life. Both kinds are treasures, for which I can thank my teacher, and wish him well. And then, bid him good-bye.
Labels: DC, Querido Diario
Labels: postal, Querido Diario
So many time focus on myself and it's already July 22th! I cannot afford to have an improductive summer, so I pledge that I will achieve this ten goals by the end of the summer. I tried to be a mix of personal hobbies, academic landmarks and life improvements.
Let me know your thoughts:
1. Empire (Photography Project).
Capture the essence and the soul of the Empire in Washington DC. Suggested areas to capture the feeling: the mall, the political power, the banking institutions of global power, the guards and military people, the statues of generals, the residences of the ambassadors, the war memorials...
2. People (Photography Project plus Writing)
Photobook of as much people I met in DC as I can, trying to capture their personal "soul". Then I will write a short story, fictional or real, about them. And finally I will build a book with those materials.
3. Publish the paper on Tax Capacity in Public Administration and Development or a similar journal.
After cleaning a little bit the contents, a little bit of proof-reading, and this can add to the list. No more delays!
4. Write an article for Global Affairs.
I have had so much time having the opportunity, and thinking on writing about relevant topics. Enough. I will publish a 1500 words article on recent nationalization processes in Latin America.
5. Painting my room in lively colors.
Because white is so pale, I want the windows and door frames to inspire my days. I will upload pictures of the evolution of my works on Flickr, to accept suggestions.
6. Learning Kayaking by the Potomac.
Let me know your thoughts:
1. Empire (Photography Project).
Capture the essence and the soul of the Empire in Washington DC. Suggested areas to capture the feeling: the mall, the political power, the banking institutions of global power, the guards and military people, the statues of generals, the residences of the ambassadors, the war memorials...
2. People (Photography Project plus Writing)
Photobook of as much people I met in DC as I can, trying to capture their personal "soul". Then I will write a short story, fictional or real, about them. And finally I will build a book with those materials.
3. Publish the paper on Tax Capacity in Public Administration and Development or a similar journal.
After cleaning a little bit the contents, a little bit of proof-reading, and this can add to the list. No more delays!
4. Write an article for Global Affairs.
I have had so much time having the opportunity, and thinking on writing about relevant topics. Enough. I will publish a 1500 words article on recent nationalization processes in Latin America.
5. Painting my room in lively colors.
Because white is so pale, I want the windows and door frames to inspire my days. I will upload pictures of the evolution of my works on Flickr, to accept suggestions.
6. Learning Kayaking by the Potomac.
Labels: DC, Querido Diario
Natural ecstasy. You know what am I talking about. You close your eyes while dancing in the club. Your mind frees from any affliction, pushed by the endorphines, and you can feel the music inside your chest. Your hands fly liberated from any shame. You, finally, are connected. Everything seems possible [because it is], and then, you just smile.
There’s a drugs running through my veigns
I believe in the wonder
I believe I can touch the flame
There’s a spell that I’m under
Got to fly, I don’t feel no shame
The world is mine
The world is mine
The world is mine
I believe in the wonder
I believe this new life to gain
Like a God that I’m underI believe this new life to gain
There’s a drugs running through my veigns
I believe in the wonder
I believe I can touch the flame
There’s a spell that I’m under
Got to fly, I don’t feel no shame
The world is mine
The world is mine
The world is mine
Labels: Querido Diario
Life is so ironical that brings us to the glory of true love, then immediately to the darkness of pain and confusion, and finally to the inner trip of self encounter, to the knowledge about our real hopes, ways and needs. And once again, we get ready to ascend to the glory of true love once we enjoy our singularity again. But we will never be the same than before Macchu. We'll be better, wiser, quieter, happier. We will harbor memories of true experiences, full of meaning, full of intensity. We will save the magic in the deeps of our brain's backyard, just to visit them once and again as we get older, remembering those happy days of piscos and llamas, augustos and indian guides, late trains and lost cities in high Andean mountains...
Labels: Querido Diario
Todos los valientes tenemos derecho a fracasar,
y a levantarnos orgullosos tras haber caido, para intentarlo una vez más.
y a levantarnos orgullosos tras haber caido, para intentarlo una vez más.
Labels: Querido Diario
I do it all right alone, and better together...
1 Comments Posted by Alex Guerrero on Wednesday, July 16, 2008 at 3:27 PM.
I do it all right alone, and better together, but I do very poorly when semi-together.In solitude I do much, in love I do more, but in doubt I only transfer pain to paper in gigantic Passion Plays complete with miracles and martyrs and crucifixions and resurrections.
Come to stay
or
stay away.
Labels: Querido Diario
Labels: Querido Diario
And there over the sand, I found all my friends enjoying life around a fire at sunset...¿Por qué no unirme?
Labels: Querido Diario
Te miro y sonrío. Te vas aunque no quieras. Y mientras la ilusión se extingue, tan maravillosa como irreal, el telón cae lentamente sobre el escenario. Las luces se vuelven a encender, desconcertantes. Vuelta a la propia vida.
Una vez fuimos uno. Te dormías en mi hombro mientras recorríamos valles andinos en trenes antiguos. Me dabas la mano mientras compartíamos coñac de petaca con unos desconocidos que el azar puso en los asientos frente a nosotros.
Pero ahora recupero mi singularidad. Y con ella, las cosas dan sentido a mi vida. Disfrutar de las luces del atardecer, las películas antiguas, la música diversa. El contacto, el tacto, el cariño que abraza, que ríe, que es optimista. Las conversaciones supérfluas, la amistad ilimitada, mi propio tiempo. Mi tiempo. Tiempo para ser generoso con los demás. Para ayudar sin esperar nada a cambio... miento: esperando una sonrisa como propina. La libertad, para ser, para construir, para anhelar. Los viajes. Los viajes con buenos amigos. La comida compartida. Y nuevos sueños, renovados, positivos, increíblemente, exageradamente felices. El sexo que termina entre risas. El amor del que no duele. El silencio, que prosigue tras la tormenta.
Eso es lo que viene ahora.
Labels: Querido Diario
I was harboring doubts, swimming in a sea of confusion. I was lying to myself, denying the thruth, avoiding the pain. Confusion, Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Acceptance... And I believed I was more than human, that I would be able to bridge the grief process without experiencing all the stages. And I pretended acceptance at the beginning, got confused later, and bargained to fuel my denial, pretending nothing happened, and now, finally, I know the truth... and I feel released. Nothing lasts forever. It's sad, but time heals everything. I will let it go, to be able to bright again and bring someone marvelous to my lebensraun. Once again... I forgot that I might see,
So many beautiful things.
I forgot that I might need,
to find out what life could bring. (*)
So many beautiful things.
I forgot that I might need,
to find out what life could bring. (*)
Labels: Querido Diario
"Amar es el empiece de la palabra amargura"
58 Comments Posted by Alex Guerrero on Sunday, July 06, 2008 at 10:20 AM.
RIMA LII
Volverán las oscuras golondrinas
en tu balcón sus nidos a colgar,
y otra vez con el ala a sus cristales
jugando llamarán.
Pero aquellas que el vuelo refrenaban
tu hermosura y mi dicha a contemplar,
aquellas que aprendieron nuestros nombres,
ésas... ¡no volverán!
Volverán las tupidas madreselvas
de tu jardín las tapias a escalar
y otra vez a la tarde aún más hermosas
sus flores se abrirán.
Pero aquellas cuajadas de rocío
cuyas gotas mirábamos temblar
y caer como lágrimas del día....
ésas... ¡no volverán!
Volverán del amor en tus oídos
las palabras ardientes a sonar,
tu corazón de su profundo sueño
tal vez despertará.
Pero mudo y absorto y de rodillas,
como se adora a Dios ante su altar,
como yo te he querido..., desengáñate,
¡así no te querrán!
Gustavo Adolfo BécquerToda Verdad Pasa por Tres Estados
0 Comments Posted by Alex Guerrero on Thursday, July 03, 2008 at 9:44 AM.
Toda verdad paso por tres estados:
Primero, es ridiculizada.
Segundo, surge una oposición violenta a ella.
Tercero, es aceptada como auto-evidente.
Primero, es ridiculizada.
Segundo, surge una oposición violenta a ella.
Tercero, es aceptada como auto-evidente.
Labels: curiosidades
