It's not Kansas anymore, Toto. I can remember the whole story of the relationship. Completely. I also remember all of the disappointments I suffered. I could describe how I were let down, how I were put down. But what if I take the "I" out from the story, and if I remove all of my rancor, all of my resentment, all of my desire for love or revenge. If I take them out, if just for a uncomfortable moment, see what's left. It's just another human being struggling to find his own way to happiness. He taught me to be clear, to have a sense of pride. He taught me to enhance my capabilities, the far-reaching lenght of my own dreams. He taught me to fight for my own liberty, to dream with building a family. He showed me how worthless are many of the human material ambitions. He influenced me to be skeptical about given truths. To be honest. To state clearly my point, even if it means disagreement and conflict. He showed me I was meant for a type of personal greatness which is not often recognized, or self-evident, or applauded. A greatness coming from the joy of feeling really human. Finding the connection with the whole humanity. Liberating others from suffering and pain. And yes, painfully, he was also the mirror of my temporary lack of self-confidence.
Those lessons will be very important the rest of my life. I can't do anything but thanking this person for all that he helped me to learn. The gentle lessons were blessings; the hard ones will surely help me to avoid such pain for the rest of my life. Both kinds are treasures, for which I can thank my teacher, and wish him well. And then, bid him good-bye.
Labels: DC, Querido Diario
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